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Ratman

One day Ratman was in his ratmobel when he herd a bomb exploding in the street.He pulled over and jumped out of the ratmobel and landed quite nicely.He looked up and saw his worst enemy Doctor toad catapulting giant bombs towards a motel.He pulled out his gun that he had found in the sewer.''Hands up Doctor toad''said Ratman his raising gun.Doctor toad put his hands in the air.''You won't get away with this Ratman'' said Doctor toad.''Actually I can''said Ratman''Now stand still till the cops come.''After Doctor toad was arrested they had a party.The End.

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Flying House

One day when Mr John Ray was waiting for Roney, a thought came to his mind. If he was going to ask his Grandson to go to space with him, what would Roney say? Would he say yes or no? His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of his grandson.

"Hi Grandpa," said Roney.

" Welcome Roney," replied Mr John Ray. "I have something to ask you."

"What, what, what?" said Roney jumping up and down like a madman.

"Would you come to space with me?"

"Oh," said Roney," I like cheese and the moon's made of it."

"Be quiet," said Mr John Ray.

"OK," said Roney.

"Good, " said Mr John Ray. "Now lets get equipment!"

The minute they were back, they got into space suits. Then they put the controls into action. Then the house filled with gas.

"Time for lift off Roney, "said Mr John Ray.

"Sssweet," said Roney.
Then Mr John Ray pulled a switch and then there was a loud bang as the rockets fired.

"Next stop, the moon," cried Mr John Ray.

"Alright, "shouted Roney punching the air like he'd just scored a goal in soccer.

Now the moon was in sight.

"Now that's a big block of cheese if you ask me," said Roney. "Hey Grandpa."

"Yes Roney, " said Mr John Ray with a smile on his face.

"How are we supposed to get down from here?"

"Good question Roney, I don't know. Wait... I don't know," he said panicing.

"Maybe pres that button," said Roney pushing it.

"Oh boy,"replied Mr John Ray.

"You pressed earth crash button."

"Ahh," yelled Mr John Ray as the house thundered to earth.

"Oh," said Roney in a zombie voice.

Then they put on the parachute and they floated safely to the ground.
The End

Creepy Pizza

I'd like a pizza topped with cheese
then sprinkled with some gnats and fleas,
some centipedes and slimy slugs
and other creepy crawly bugs.

I want to add some fingernails
and oyster ooze and crunchy snails
and chicken bones and spoiled meat
and smelly socks from dirty feet

I want it topped with lots of mould
and gooey boogers (not too old)
a lot of snot, a little spit,
and guts with grimy, grainy grit.

I want the most disgusting crust
with spider webs and day-old dust
and dirt and mould and blood and gore
delivered to my sisters door!

Newsboard 24th June

6th March